“It’s funny – people talk about rock bottom as if you hit rock bottom and you decide to get better. I don't think that is necessarily true. The thing about the concept of rock bottom is that you can always sink lower, no matter how depraved and dishevelled you are. ‘Oh I stole money from my mother’ but yeah, you still aren’t eating a human baby – you can always go lower, right? I had bottomed out several times before I decided to go to treatment. I was just tired. I was tired of my identity as a lonely drunk and drug-user, and I was afraid that those had become such ingrained parts of my personality and that if I were to walk away from them, there would be nothing left over. But it got to the point where the fear of exploring that was worth it.